Feeling crappy

I just entered university this past week and it has been pretty great, i mean i have met some nice people, i have awesome classes, i just have one class where i have no one i know, and well...it is pretty awesome. Also, I haven't gotten too much homework, and most of them are easy peasy so there is no problem. The work i have to do for my scholarship is awesome since i just have to go to plays, take pictures and say what i liked about it. Everything is cool with my friends, it was my birthday recently so i got to see most of them and blah blah blah. Everything is...great.

To tell you the truth, i know that my life is going pretty great lately i mean, i even got a new laptop this summer, but i feel really happily depressed...i don't know what im saying but yeah. I mean, life is great and I know it so I try to smile more, but after I get in the bus back home or when I'm left alone with only my thoughts I start to feel really crappy, depressed, and yesterday I even felt really nauseous when I got home. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. I feel like I could cry a river in any instant even if it is in the middle of a class. I know I'm not on my hormonal phase of the month so hormones are not involved in this right now.

I just want to know what is going on and why do I feel so tired, sad, and even nauseous all the time...specially when I'm alone. This makes no sense and there is no reason to be sad...maybe I miss high school? But still that makes no sense.

I feel really crappy, and sorry I said so much blah...but I needed to say something.

Love

Sophie

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I just finished watching "The Grand Budapest Hotel" and I must say it was an amazing movie. A mystery movie that ads humor to it and makes you want to continue watching till the end.

 Starting with the casting, it had a little bit of everything. It had serious actors and various comedians, all witch brought a perfect combination of humors to the movie. All where very good actors like: Ralph Fiennes, Adrien Brody, Jude Law, Bill Murray, and many other extraordinary actors. They all did a perfect impersonation of their characters.

Moving to the soundtrack and scenery, it was all also perfect. Since the movie is situated in the year of 1968, the movie contains a lot of music related to those times and is also fascinating to the ear, since it contains a series of different themes that help build the mood of the movie.  Also, the change of scenery is marvelous since you can see the time go by in the hotel through the years. And even though it is all situated mostly in the hotel and in the town, everything is well planed, and you can feel as if the movie was actually made in those years. The clothing, the words they use, everything makes you feel as if you were in Budapest in 1968.

The only thing could be the special effects used when you only see shadows of the characters, but I think that is part of the magic in this movie.

I strongly recommend this movie. But I must warn you, it is not a movie for everyone. I love mystery games and old like movies, so I really liked this movie, but I'm afraid there might be people who are too centered on the main plot, that will miss many of the details of this beautiful movie.

Lots of love

Sophie

Vlogger

So, this summer I have been watching many videos of different vloggers on youtube. For those who don't know what a vlogger is, it is basically a person recording videos talking about pretty much anything and uploading them to youtube or something similar. I found amazing vloggers like: zoella, danisnotonfire, pointlessblog, sprinkleofglitter, and many others. 

Watching all this vloggers made me want to do it too, but in Spanish since I am Mexican and my pronunciation in English sucks. I got really excited and started to make plans for videos, and I told my family and they told me it was a good idea. However, yesterday I told two friends to come to my place and help me record some videos and....i absolutely hated it. 

I mean, I have a lot of ideas and I like recording, but I looked really fake, I looked nervous, and just no. Also, I tried to edit a video, and realized that my computer has no programs to edit videos, so I'll have to either tell a friend of mine to help me on her computer or edit on the youtube editor that is not that amazing. I wanted to scream because I couldn't do much. But, I won't let that bring me down. 

Both of my friends told me I can record again, and that they totally support my decisions and that they will help me with everything they can. That gave me a boost and I decided that I actually am going to try once again to record some videos. Also, now I know what I do well and what I do bad. I decided to try and relax myself, not use too much makeup (since I don't usually use much makeup), and basically be real as possible. Also, my friends told me that a good idea is to record alone, so I don't feel stupid with people next to me and to record everything I do because in the end, everything can be used as bloopers.

This Monday I decided that I'm going to try and record once more but alone in my room...talking alone to a camera. Then I am going to go to a friend's house and edit as much as I can there since I have no editor. I am planning on getting a new computer that actually edits. Not just because of the videos, but I don't have a laptop of my own, I use my mom's and it sucks having to share. Also, I'll need a lot of programs now that  enter college, so might as well get a new laptop now. I'll be giving piano lessons to earn some money, and ask for help to my parents, brothers, uncles, etc. to get enough money to get a very good laptop. 

I hope I can get my ideas in order and that I can actually record something this Monday. Wish me luck guys, and once I post a video I'll let you know. 

Lots of love

Sophie

Death

I don't know why, but the idea of death is very interesting to me for some reason. All my IB Spanish essays talked about death, and I like to wonder what is beyond death. The reason why I'm saying this is because a) I just watched the fault in our stars (which was amazing) and b) I just found out a guy from high school died a couple of days ago.

This guy that died, I didn't know him very good, I just had a couple of classes with him, but he seamed like a guy with ambitions and the power to convince people to do something. In the graduation I even heard some people say that he was destined to do great things, specially since he had just given a very powerful speech. Apparently he was in London for vacations and he fell from the balcony of the 6th floor. He was making out with a girl, she tripped and took him with her. That is some really sad to die, and at such a young age. I really think he could have been able to reach some high places in life and sure, he might be a little dumb with decisions, but teenagers tend to make bad decisions...like, all the time. I hope he is in a better place now though, and I hope his parents are able to get through this. I didn't know him that well to go to his burial (if there is one) but I hope his loved ones get some closure...? R.I.P. Miguel

On the other hand, I saw "the fault in our stars" that pretty much talks about dead all the movie and actually ends with a character dying. But this movie is about teenagers that are sick with cancer and are actually expecting dead at any minute. There is a difference between deaths. In the movie, the girl said that everybody comes to an end and some day nobody will remember you, but the guy said that there must be an after life because if not...what's the point? I think more like the guy, I mean, there must be an after life where we can finally rest from the "stress" of life.

Dead is a taboo subject to talk about most times, but I really do think it is something really interesting to talk about and to wonder about. I don't even know what I am saying anymore, all I really know, is that i sure do hope there is an after life where I can rest and be happy with my loved ones and God by my side. I am not saying I want to die any day soon, but when the day comes, I hope I find something after life.

There is one quote I love that says: " They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” - Banksy. I live by this quote, I try to remember all the death people I loved and I live so that even generations after I'm death, people still talk about me, even if it's just my successors. 

Lots of love

Sophie

P.S. long live and prosper

Something great

Have you ever done something great? Like have you ever written a nice story, or drawn a nice character, or something like that?  And then people WON'T believe you did it? I don't know why I'm writing this all of a sudden, but I remember once I did a nice drawing (I suck at drawing) and my brothers didn't believe me at all. Also, when I was like 8 y/o a teacher asked us to make a drawing of a character from a book, and she told me i must have copied it from the book because it was too well drawn for an 8 y/o. And the most recent, is a small "song" in the piano and my brother and mother thought it was a video game song.

I don't know you, but I clearly have experienced this. At first, I don't know how I get to do this great things, but I feel nice, and then people tell me I'm lying? come on! That just makes me feel even better! That people actually think somebody more talented did it and not just me? well you flatter me. But, I also am like...I CAN DO GREAT THINGS TOO! I don't need to be a specialist to make great things by myself, specially if I'm bored or alone. Anyone can do great things if they put their heart on it.

I invite you guys, to do great things with your time. Now that it's summer, whenever you are bored, grab a piece of paper, a blank piece of paper, and do something! do something great! even if it is just little, or it won't change the world. If you can create anything from scratch, oh boy, you are already making something great! Please do something great people! and send me pictures! I'll post them all here! starting with some great things I have done.

BONUS: if you do it by hand and with only a pen (meaning you can't erase) it is better.

Lots of love

Sophie

Personality test

Hey there guys, so a few days ago I found a personality test that is really easy and fun to do. I will be doing it here and then write what everything means at the end, but I encourage you to do it with me and write down your answers in a sheet of paper. So here it goes...

First of all, imagine you are walking through a desert.

A) There is a cube 
1. How big is the cube?
It is about 40 cm x 40 cm

2. What is its color? What do you think about that color? 
It is made of wood, light brown color, nice color

3. How far away is it from you?
I am holding it in my hands

4. Is it transparent? Can you see what is inside?
Again, it is made of wood, so I can't see trough it

5. How big is the cube compared to the desert? What is the ratio?
The desert is huge, so it is small in comparison

B) There is a ladder
1. Is the ladder leaning on the cube?
No

2. What is the color of the ladder? What is it made of?
It is a silver color, it is made of metal

3. What impression does it give you?
That it is weird that it is just standing there

4. What is the distance between the cube and the ladder?
Not very far, but they are very separated

C) There is a horse
1. What is the distance between the cube and the horse? 
They are very separated

2. What is the color of the horse?
Brown

3. What impression does it give you?
Peaceful

4. Is it tied? Is there a saddle?
It is tied to a post and there is no saddle

D) There is a storm
1. What is the distance between the storm and the cube.
It is coming on top of the top 

2. Is it a big storm or a small storm?
Huge storm

3. Is it passing by or staying?
Passing

E) There is a flower/ there are flowers
1. How many flowers are there?
One

2. Where is/are the flower/s?
Close but lonely

3. What is the color of the flower/s?
Bright pink, maybe kind of orange

4. How do you feel about the flower/s?
It is very pretty
The End

According to the test:
The cube means: I think nicely of myself and I understand myself. Also, I don't let people see through me and I have a small ego. 
The ladder means: I don't feel close to my friends and I don't rely on them very much. Also, I think they are weird apparently, but that is good.
The horse means: Apparently I want to be in control in a romantic relationship (makes sense). I want a peaceful partner and again, since it is a bit away from the cube, we are not very close.
The storm means: There is a big problem in my life, but it is just coming to me and it will go away. (I believe it is the problem of starting a new stage of my life)
The flower means: I will be kid of close to my kids, but there will be few kids. I think they are nice and pretty. 

The answers and meanings can be found here. Also, there are other webpages where you can find more meaning to the colors and other things. 

Lots of love

Sophie

Dream interpretation 3

Here goes my dream. At first, I was in my school and I saw a friend of mine that is very cheerful a bit upset, so I started to follow her and another guy-friend helped me. But then I saw a dark colored bulldog on the school entrance and I lost track of my friend, then I lost track of the dog. Then I went to where the bus stop and realized I was at the wrong stop so I called the other bus stop and they told me I was right on time. This part of my dream wasn't that weird.

The next part of my dream was that I was in some kind of mall playing a weird looking instrument that used beakers filled with water hanging from a platform. I was playing random music and little kids liked it, and then I was in my home playing very intense music. When I stopped playing I saw one part of the piano had blood and my left hand was injured. It had really bad marks as if i had taken a knife and cut my self with it multiple times trying to take something out. But it didn't hurt so much, so I just took a snapchat and sent it to my friends with the caption "how?".  And that's basically it.

Dog 
To see a black colored dog in your dream symbolizes the shadow aspect of a friend. The dark side of someone close to you is being revealed and you are able to see through to their true intentions. To see a bulldog in your dream signifies that some protective force is helping you move forward in life.

Bus 
To dream that you are waiting for a bus indicates a temporary setback in achieving your personal goals. If you get on the wrong bus, then the dream indicates your fears of making the wrong choice and going on the wrong path. To dream that you are at a bus stop indicates that there is a decision that you need to make. You need to decide what you want to do with your future.

Mall 
To dream that you are at the mall symbolizes the choices, decisions and options you have in your waking life. These choices will help shape who you are as a person. You are trying to establish your identity and sense of self.

Children 
To see children in your dream signify an aspect of yourself and your childlike qualities.

Blood 
To see blood in your dream represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments. To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. To see blood on your hands signifies that you are experiencing some sort of guilt.

Piano 
To dream that you are playing a piano indicates a quest for harmony in your life. To hear discordant or out of tune music in your dream signifies unhappiness, lack of harmony, and troubles in your relationship or domestic life.

Well this is deep and I divided the dream in two: the high school, and the music part. The dog I think it may mean that I am looking at another part of a friend and that part is protective and helps me. The bus station makes sense because I am about to start the University this August and I HAVE been having some second thought on what I decided to study, I feel like I should study computer science as well as digital music. 

About the mall and the music, well, as I said, I am facing the decision of what to study and what to do with my life now that high school is over. The children may symbolize my inner child and innocence that finds joy in music. Me playing music, since it was loud music, very intsne, it may signify that I am a bit unhappy with this new life or something. But I was trying to play a bit better the piano, so I guess I am looking for peace and serenity. And the blood is basically guilt, guilt, guilt. Maybe guilt for thinking that I shouldn't study digital music anymore, or guilt that I haven't looked for a new piano teacher and have left it apart. Because I was playing the piano as I bleed. But it could also be guilt for something I did recently...

In conclusion, I am in the middle of a decision and I am afraid I took the wrong decision but my inner self is telling me (I think) that I should stick with the musical part of me. It does make sense everything once you put it together. The only thing that makes me question my dream is the part of the bulldog and my friend being upset...

lots of love

Sophie

P.S. tell me what you think