5 things I'd tell my pregnant self tag

I am not pregnant and never had, but a friend of mine told me to do this tag, so goes nothing.

1. First of all, I'd ask myself how in the hell did this happen? and are you proud of yourself? I know, I'd be very harsh on myself, specially since my family is very catholic.

2. I'd tell myself to think of the baby before thinking of myself. I'd tell myself to find a nice home for the baby and not to keep it if that means bringing him to a home where it won't have much.

3. Something very important is that I'd tell myself to just enjoy the moment, and not care what other people say about myself. I'd tell myself that it doesn't matter what other people think about myself, also, many people say pregnant women have a certain glow.

4. I'd tell myself that it's okay to cry at times, but it is always important to give a good face to other people and not let them know just how terrible I feel. And that if I cry in public, it is okay, but I need to then  fix myself and continue smiling, life goes on.

5. I'd tell myself to pay attention to who my real friends are. Real friends would stay there next to me even if their mothers said I am a bad example. Real friends would kick the guy that impregnated me and help me all the time.

This is a weird tag and I really don't know what I really wrote, but I guess it is the truth. I just hope I never get to get pregnant before marriage or before I know I can sustain them.

I tag everybody to do this tag, maybe don't write it down, but at least think about it. And if you are a guy, think of what you would say to yourself if you ever impregnated a girl.

Lots of love

Sophie 

Prom and freedom

These last three days have been exhausting. Me wearing 5 different outfits and 4 different types of heels, for about 5 different events we had from our graduation. I received a "price", then pictures, then church, getting the diplomas, and finally yesterday the big party I was looking dress for. Never the less, I am finally free and it is all over. I was so excited these last days, especially yesterday that was the party, I really didn't want it to end...but then again my feet where killing me.

Yesterday a friend of mine made my makeup and it was really pretty, then some friends picked us up and went to their house to have like a little gathering before the big thing and we took some pictures. Then on the party I found my musketeers (friends) and they all looked so pretty on their dresses. We looked fabulous and that's it. Also, my dress was a bit revealing but I really liked it and I just didn't paid attention to how much I was jumping and dancing, sincerely, I was just having fun and I don't regret a thing.

Everything was perfect, everybody was having fun, we went to the after at other place and everything, but there was just one thing I hated. My partner for prom had too much to drink and he is usually really awkward so I try to make him more comfortable, but with so much drinks he was like a whole other person. I don't know what got into him (probably the fact that I didn't pay much attention to him) but I mean, I was having fun with all of my friends and I wasn't going to be behind him, so I just "discretely" ignored him the rest of the night. Other than that, the party was awesome.

Also, after the party and the after, we went to a friend's house to sleep and nobody remembers when we fall asleep, suddenly it was morning. I just remember one friend telling the other one not to fall asleep and that it was just 7 a.m.. We woke up at about 9:30 a.m. and then we had to go get breakfast with the rest of the girls at the IHOP at 10:30 so we all just put on some bras, cleaned our makeup (because we slept with makeup on) and went to the place to get some really, really good breakfast.

I am so glad everything turned out so perfectly, and I love my friends, they really made this night the best night ever. Also, I saw two friends (couple) dancing all night long and they looked sooooo cute!!! I actually took a picture of them and I love them, also there where other couples that took my attention, but I just loved this other couple, actually we all do, even though they are not actually together.

Lots of love

Sophie

Drunk

So lately I've been thinking for some reason of what would happen if I ever got drunk. Some people tell me that I would be jumping super high, then telling everyone how much I love them and then just decide to sleep in the floor. Other told me that they expect to see me crying after a while or telling everyone all their truths. However, I'm afraid that if I ever get drunk I do something really really stupid that will change the way people look at me. My prom night is coming soon and I have been telling myself "you are just going to drink one or two glasses of alcohol and  no vodka at all" because I really don't want my first time drunk to be at prom with all my close friends and plenty of strangers there.

I can't help but think that if I got drunk I would start saying the truth to everybody because even when I'm not drunk I tend too be too honest to people. Too honest as in "Teacher, your class is boring" and "yes, that dress makes you look fat". I feel that I would start shouting and then go to certain people and say something like "you are so handsome" and just kiss someone because I feel like it. I really really believe that I am capable of going to any guy and saying, you have nice lips and then kissing him. I am so afraid of that but then again I'm like "nah, I wouldn't".

I just hope I never get too drunk next to people I don't really know. I think that if I ever got drunk I wish it happens with my best of friends that would make sure I don't make anything stupid. Also...I hate it when people are between drunken and just happy and start playing dumb. People please don't do that.

Lots of love

Sophie

I'm sorry!!!!

I know I haven't written in a long time, but I am in the middle of my final exams so I'm trying to study more so I can have a nice average and then relax on my summer and write more. I promise once I'm done with exams I'll post once a day (or at least I'll try) also, I am making my final project to my friends as a good bye present, so I am pretty busy. See you in two weeks. Unless I feel like writing and get some free time.

Lots of love

Sophie

Bye bye high school

Today was my last day of classes in high school, I just need to finish my final exams. It was a nice day, we went to a big area and all got wet and filled with colors and took pictures. Also, the little sister of one of my best friend's told me a nice farewell speech telling me how I was one of her first friends and that when she met me she thought I was really cool and easy to hang with. She told me that she always saw the nice things in my heart and that she thinks I am very kind to everybody and anyone can be my friend if they wish too. I am going to miss seeing her everyday, but I know we will still see each other, after all, her sister is one of my best friends. 

Also, I was talking to another friend how our friendships grew a lot in only three years. I remember that in the beginning a friend of mine, Grace, was in some classes with me but I didn't know her yet, so I remember saying that she dressed nice and looked really bad ass and she had the look of don't mess with me. But now, we call each other b!tch and we goof around all day long, it is amazing how things can change so quickly. 

I am really going to miss hanging out with a lot of friends all day long and bother them everyday, but the truth is that I am beginning a new stage of my life and I am excited to take the next step. I just hope that at least the people that are going to the same university as me don't ignore me and keep in touch with me. A guy friend said he was going to ignore me and treat me like a stranger, but I seriously doubt he could even if he wanted.

Lots of love

Sophie

Pilón

Here in México we have the word "pilón". It is a bit complicated to explain, but basically if your parents have three kids with one year of difference between them, and then 10 years later they decide to have another baby, that baby would be called a "pilón". I am a "pilón".

This is something funny for me because, I am used to being the smallest one of the family, and that everybody in my family is graduating and working or getting married, and I am still on high school. Also, my parent's are a bit older than my friend's but it is something really normal to me. I am saying this because a while ago I said something like "...that happened when my mom was 55" and a friend of mine was shocked when I said "mom, was, and 55" in the sentence. He was all like "she WAS 55, meaning she is older now?" and well yeah, my mom is 58 now and it is something really normal. But it was really funny to see their faces of shock at this "surprising" news. However when they told me their parents where 47 years old or so I was the one shocked. 

I mean, it is really funny being the "pilón" since I am the one that they take care of and give me presents and things like that. Also, I have older brothers with a lot of wisdom to share. Nevertheless, there are also some disadvantages like my mom and dad picking me up early because they can't stay up too late, the fact that my parents are much older than me, and my brothers being perhaps too overprotective. But I still love being the "pilón".

Lots of love

Sophie

I am going to be doing this Spanish term of the week from now on, so if anybody have any suggestions please comment and I'll try to do that word next week.

And another weird dream

I had like two dreams in one, but of what I can remember I went to the beach with only my mom and I saw a lot of people with their friends and then there was me with my mom. On the other part of the dream, I was going to get married. This was weird because I was trying on my wedding dress and it was really confusing because it was really puffy on the bottom and I was getting tangled with so much things, but I seamed to like it. Then, we wen't to the church where we practiced my entrance, but this time my dress was red and my father didn't walked me down the aisle and my heels where too short so I was tripping, so someone gave another pair of black heels that where taller and you could see the tip of the shoe. 

When I got to the end of the aisle, I saw another woman dressed in a blue simple dress..and I think I was going to get married to her and that was so confusing since I'm not gay. Also I was angry because she wasn't wearing white, but then I remembered I was wearing red and whit (yes, suddenly my dress was re with white) also, there was another girl sharing the church with us because it was her Quinceaños (like a sweet sixteen) and that made me angry. Then I woke up and never found out if I got married or not, but now I'm thinking that perhaps it was only a Quinceaños celebration? but it felt like a marriage... This was weird so I decided to look for some of the symbols on my dream.

Beach: To dream that you are relaxing on a beach signifies that the coming weeks will be calm and tranquil for you. Your stress will be alleviated and you will find peace of mind.

Mom: To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.

Wedding:  Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that you need to address some negativity immediately.

Lesbian: If you are uncomfortable with homosexuality in your dream, then it suggests some fears or anxieties about your masculinity (if you are male) and femininity (if you are female). You may be experiencing some insecurity in your relations with the opposite sex.

Ah so much symbols and too much words! So in summary I think I understand that I have inner issues. This weeks will actually get more relaxing since I almost finish school and I only have 3 final exams. I should talk with my mom because lately I've gotten angry with her for stupid stuff and I don't seek her as much as I did before. The wedding though, I guess can relate to the fact that I have issues with my mom. And about the lesbian thing, I really have no idea since I have no anxieties about my femininity and I have good relationships with the opposite sex.

Dreams can be so weird, however I love trying to figure out what they mean. I think this just means that I'm relaxed about the ending year (the beach) I want my old relationship with my mom back. And the marriage thing probably just means that I'm feeling frustrated about something, and that can be the mom thing. Once I also had a dream about a bad wedding and a wise person told me it usually reflects suppressed anxieties. 

Lots of love

Sophie

and if you have any weird dreams, please send them to me, and I'll try to interpret them.